Cycles

Some people change
While others just remain the same
Then there are those like me
The ones that fuck themselves over
Time and time again

I repeat the same cycles
Always fucking myself over
Changing myself to make myself an ideal
An ideal for the person closest to me

Always I change myself for the better
Only to have them leave me behind
And causing me to revert back
Back to those vices that destroy me

So some days I wonder
Should I even be alive?
Or should I just make them
Feel the same suffering that I do.